lonely
October 8, 2000, 08:31 PM by
http://ankh.diaryland.com/lonline.html
I wish someone would talk to me! I'm all alone.
I wish someone would talk to me! I'm all alone.
http://ankh.diaryland.com/proancag.html
I can't read Proelium posts in bulk, not today. I'm zoned out. It feels vaguely as if my brain is floating somewhere above my head. Ew, right? Ew. I should shut up.
I talked to Jack (founder & leader of Proelium) about that free domain idea I found for the Cag. We looked over some material about the board hoster I had been looking at (EZ Board). He suggested maybe blending Pro and the Cag together for the board. I think it could work nicely. A lot of Pro members are in the Cag. Actually, I think ALL members of Proelium are or were Caggers.
Anyway. I'll have to talk to Tser about it all, but I like the idea. I absolutely adore working with others, so the idea of joining with Jack for some Proelium work and maybe being someone special in the Cag just fills my heart to bursting! Whee and Bweeeee!!
My brain's still a bit too spacy to fully comprehend the Pro postings, though. Today's Sailor Moon involves a writer, coolness, and she's a friend of Lita's. Lita's the tall one, for which I admire her. *g* Me and my six feet of height. Think I'll sip strawberry soda (flavor of the gods) while absorbing psuedoliterary technique and musing to discover a way to get my own computer online without hissing off my mom. Mm.
I can't read Proelium posts in bulk, not today. I'm zoned out. It feels vaguely as if my brain is floating somewhere above my head. Ew, right? Ew. I should shut up.
I talked to Jack (founder & leader of Proelium) about that free domain idea I found for the Cag. We looked over some material about the board hoster I had been looking at (EZ Board). He suggested maybe blending Pro and the Cag together for the board. I think it could work nicely. A lot of Pro members are in the Cag. Actually, I think ALL members of Proelium are or were Caggers.
Anyway. I'll have to talk to Tser about it all, but I like the idea. I absolutely adore working with others, so the idea of joining with Jack for some Proelium work and maybe being someone special in the Cag just fills my heart to bursting! Whee and Bweeeee!!
My brain's still a bit too spacy to fully comprehend the Pro postings, though. Today's Sailor Moon involves a writer, coolness, and she's a friend of Lita's. Lita's the tall one, for which I admire her. *g* Me and my six feet of height. Think I'll sip strawberry soda (flavor of the gods) while absorbing psuedoliterary technique and musing to discover a way to get my own computer online without hissing off my mom. Mm.
moving in
October 15, 2000, 01:33 AM by
http://ree.diaryland.com/movin.html
I (Ree, alias Ankh) am still getting settled after moving my out of my Ankh diary for reasons of personal privacy offline. There's a lot I need to recover. You can check out my Ankh archives to learn more about me.
Until I next write.
I (Ree, alias Ankh) am still getting settled after moving my out of my Ankh diary for reasons of personal privacy offline. There's a lot I need to recover. You can check out my Ankh archives to learn more about me.
Until I next write.
nothing much
October 18, 2000, 03:37 PM by
http://ree.diaryland.com/notmuch.html
Hurrah!. I feel all accomplished or something after getting this up. Now that I've finished the layout (for now), do I have anything to write here?
Uh.... no?
Well, my head is spinning. To be more precise, it feels the way a badly tuned television looks and sounds. I can literally feel the lurches and jolts. Sometimes I'd swear reality just shifted and deposited me four or five inches to the side of where I'd just been sitting. Laying, rather. I've become the most lethergic being this side of the three-toed sloth of the Amazon basin.
Amazon. Oh, that word makes me feel lonely. A wonderful woman who wrote an Amazon character at the Cag left not long ago. She told me she might come back someday, but I still feel a loss. Maybe I'll email her later.
Why am I yawning when it's not even one o'clock in the afternoon?
Uhhn. What's on for cheesy cartoons?...
Hurrah!. I feel all accomplished or something after getting this up. Now that I've finished the layout (for now), do I have anything to write here?
Uh.... no?
Well, my head is spinning. To be more precise, it feels the way a badly tuned television looks and sounds. I can literally feel the lurches and jolts. Sometimes I'd swear reality just shifted and deposited me four or five inches to the side of where I'd just been sitting. Laying, rather. I've become the most lethergic being this side of the three-toed sloth of the Amazon basin.
Amazon. Oh, that word makes me feel lonely. A wonderful woman who wrote an Amazon character at the Cag left not long ago. She told me she might come back someday, but I still feel a loss. Maybe I'll email her later.
Why am I yawning when it's not even one o'clock in the afternoon?
Uhhn. What's on for cheesy cartoons?...
Stan LeeMail
October 18, 2000, 03:55 PM by
http://ree.diaryland.com/sleemail.html
Yes, another entry today. Shut up and enjoy it or I won't write for a week. (Can you say, "empty threat?" *rolls eyes*)
Well. I had just been saying how I wasn't feeling anything. No sooner do I open my email than I find a response to something I had sent earlier today. I'd written feedback at Stan Lee Media, makers of my beloved 7th Portal webisodes.
I'd been perusing the email addresses on some of my emailing lists. Lots of people have basic Yahoo or Hotmail addresses, and a few use ISP addys. Since all my lists are predominantly to all members of The SciFi Vine, there's a lot of TSFV addys too.
And then there's a handful of addys that make me check the domain name. I think the latest to catch my eye was at Danger Girl [dot] com. Out of the clear blue sky, envy caught me.
I want a 7th Portal email address. Badly.
Where was I? Oh, right. So I checked to see if there was a 7th Portal [dot] com. Sure enough, it exists, and it points to Stan Lee Media's website, 7th Portal section.
So I wrote to SLM feedback suggesting they add email to their site. They already offer a variety of homepage builders for different sectors of interest. I mentioned Big Mail Box and the fact that it's a free service, and made sure to point out that if SLM had email I'd check the site daily to see if I had new mail.
I ended my note with "Your Flash shows make my day."
The response I read minutes ago started with, "Wow! And you made our day!"
Do you know what this means?! They read my note! They read my email right away, and sent a personal reply instead of just an email robot! This is too cool! Thus saith the 7th Portal addict. (I have 7P desktop wallpaper on my computer and the family computer, have identified one character as resembling a character of mine on an alternate timeline, and have 7P Flash trading cards saved on Shockmachine. Worst part? I watch them. Regularly. It's just such a great show for a comics fanatic like me!)
Plus, I did finish my diary layout for the time being. I even pleased my mom by getting up early today instead of staying awake and online overnight.
I'm so proud of me, in a Sesame Street-type way. *huggles self happily*
Yes, another entry today. Shut up and enjoy it or I won't write for a week. (Can you say, "empty threat?" *rolls eyes*)
Well. I had just been saying how I wasn't feeling anything. No sooner do I open my email than I find a response to something I had sent earlier today. I'd written feedback at Stan Lee Media, makers of my beloved 7th Portal webisodes.
I'd been perusing the email addresses on some of my emailing lists. Lots of people have basic Yahoo or Hotmail addresses, and a few use ISP addys. Since all my lists are predominantly to all members of The SciFi Vine, there's a lot of TSFV addys too.
And then there's a handful of addys that make me check the domain name. I think the latest to catch my eye was at Danger Girl [dot] com. Out of the clear blue sky, envy caught me.
I want a 7th Portal email address. Badly.
Where was I? Oh, right. So I checked to see if there was a 7th Portal [dot] com. Sure enough, it exists, and it points to Stan Lee Media's website, 7th Portal section.
So I wrote to SLM feedback suggesting they add email to their site. They already offer a variety of homepage builders for different sectors of interest. I mentioned Big Mail Box and the fact that it's a free service, and made sure to point out that if SLM had email I'd check the site daily to see if I had new mail.
I ended my note with "Your Flash shows make my day."
The response I read minutes ago started with, "Wow! And you made our day!"
Do you know what this means?! They read my note! They read my email right away, and sent a personal reply instead of just an email robot! This is too cool! Thus saith the 7th Portal addict. (I have 7P desktop wallpaper on my computer and the family computer, have identified one character as resembling a character of mine on an alternate timeline, and have 7P Flash trading cards saved on Shockmachine. Worst part? I watch them. Regularly. It's just such a great show for a comics fanatic like me!)
Plus, I did finish my diary layout for the time being. I even pleased my mom by getting up early today instead of staying awake and online overnight.
I'm so proud of me, in a Sesame Street-type way. *huggles self happily*
laugh at myself
October 19, 2000, 10:35 PM by
http://ree.diaryland.com/lolatme.html
Well peh. No one's online for me to talk to. Of course, if I would stay in the Dland chat for more than thirty seconds, someone might talk to me. I'm also not logged into any instant messaging right now except TSFV, and there I'm under my least-used ID. In short, I'm hiding myself. There's only a handful of people I want to talk to, and the rest are the ones I avoid. Given the population of TSFV, much less the Earth, that's a lot of people to run away from!
I'm seriously considering getting into Elfwood. Until recently I'd preferred to design my own webpages by hand-coding. Now, however, I find I just don't have the capacity. Sigh and argh. Seems all I'm capable of doing anymore is laying, sitting, and occasionally standing. I can't even get my room clean, or my new website up. Grr. At least such places as Elfwood exist for lethargics like me.
I don't really like giving my real name online, but I suppose it could work okay. Ree "Jaina" -mylastnamehere- has a certain ring to it. Hm. It's something to consider anyway. I love the idea of filling a website with knicknacks (I mean, who else puts a chat room in their diary, right?) but I just lack any real content! I have my writing, a few bios for roleplaying characters I own, and... uh... looks like this it. My diary and associated stuffthings I put in here, and my writing stuffs. Narg.
Despite the resentful tone you might hear in the above, I'm really not very annoyed. It's fun to laugh at myself every now and again, so I am. Imagine me getting myself mildly bent out of shape, trying to get a new website put together, then deciding I don't really have anything to put on a website. I find that entertaining! *giggle*
And I just grabbed the computer mouse when I meant to nab the TV remote. You may now roll you eyes at my typical behavior.
Ack! Time to run off and read some nifty diaries I've become addicted to. You should read them too; you're missing out otherwise.
Well peh. No one's online for me to talk to. Of course, if I would stay in the Dland chat for more than thirty seconds, someone might talk to me. I'm also not logged into any instant messaging right now except TSFV, and there I'm under my least-used ID. In short, I'm hiding myself. There's only a handful of people I want to talk to, and the rest are the ones I avoid. Given the population of TSFV, much less the Earth, that's a lot of people to run away from!
I'm seriously considering getting into Elfwood. Until recently I'd preferred to design my own webpages by hand-coding. Now, however, I find I just don't have the capacity. Sigh and argh. Seems all I'm capable of doing anymore is laying, sitting, and occasionally standing. I can't even get my room clean, or my new website up. Grr. At least such places as Elfwood exist for lethargics like me.
I don't really like giving my real name online, but I suppose it could work okay. Ree "Jaina" -mylastnamehere- has a certain ring to it. Hm. It's something to consider anyway. I love the idea of filling a website with knicknacks (I mean, who else puts a chat room in their diary, right?) but I just lack any real content! I have my writing, a few bios for roleplaying characters I own, and... uh... looks like this it. My diary and associated stuffthings I put in here, and my writing stuffs. Narg.
Despite the resentful tone you might hear in the above, I'm really not very annoyed. It's fun to laugh at myself every now and again, so I am. Imagine me getting myself mildly bent out of shape, trying to get a new website put together, then deciding I don't really have anything to put on a website. I find that entertaining! *giggle*
And I just grabbed the computer mouse when I meant to nab the TV remote. You may now roll you eyes at my typical behavior.
Ack! Time to run off and read some nifty diaries I've become addicted to. You should read them too; you're missing out otherwise.
numbness
October 24, 2000, 08:55 AM by
http://ree.diaryland.com/iamnumb.html
Well. I don't know what to write. I am numb. My emotions hover in a narrow range of bleh. There is no hate or love, no fear or trust. There's just being, and it's hissing me off. I'm supposed to feel something, dammit. My grandmother is dead! I will never see her alive again, however long I live. And my brain is iced to the point where I care not. It doesn't matter.
I'm to be pallbearer at the funeral tomorrow. I'll be wearing the same black dress I wore for church Sunday. I never wear that dress. I hate it. Too morbidly dark for my tastes. I wore it Sunday. It's as if I knew she would die. I joked about it after all, crude thing that I am.
I've been avoiding my mother. I can't handle her stress on top of mine. I stop the tears so I can cry when I'm around her, but I never am. The tears just stay stoppered within me. One tiny droplet meanders down my cheek as I say that. I think the bottle of my emotions is beginning to crack. Stress will do that.
I've been doing nothing in particular. I'm getting my teeth drilled today and going to a funeral tomorrow. The day after that I get to go see my shrink and find out how even more screwed up I am after this fiasco.
I am trying strongly to be numb.
It isn't quite working.
Well. I don't know what to write. I am numb. My emotions hover in a narrow range of bleh. There is no hate or love, no fear or trust. There's just being, and it's hissing me off. I'm supposed to feel something, dammit. My grandmother is dead! I will never see her alive again, however long I live. And my brain is iced to the point where I care not. It doesn't matter.
I'm to be pallbearer at the funeral tomorrow. I'll be wearing the same black dress I wore for church Sunday. I never wear that dress. I hate it. Too morbidly dark for my tastes. I wore it Sunday. It's as if I knew she would die. I joked about it after all, crude thing that I am.
I've been avoiding my mother. I can't handle her stress on top of mine. I stop the tears so I can cry when I'm around her, but I never am. The tears just stay stoppered within me. One tiny droplet meanders down my cheek as I say that. I think the bottle of my emotions is beginning to crack. Stress will do that.
I've been doing nothing in particular. I'm getting my teeth drilled today and going to a funeral tomorrow. The day after that I get to go see my shrink and find out how even more screwed up I am after this fiasco.
I am trying strongly to be numb.
It isn't quite working.
