Ree’s musings

I am ignoring my chores by looking up name meanings. Fun stuff, that -- Lady Knight's real name circles back to mean "lady" and an old family surname I'd wondered about helpfully susses out to "son of a man."

I should be mopping.

Aha! I knew Jennifer had to be derived from Guinevere! The similarities just had to mean -- right, mopping. I'm going already. And my dad's folks' names both refer to spears, but by different languages; wonder if they ever knew that?

Mopping may occur eventually. Possibly.

Favourite name meaning thus far? Well... I'm shallow. I have kin named Randy. *cough* Yeah.

I've been tagged by Ahleria (and plausibly others -- have I mentioned that I suck at noticing this sort of thing?). So on we go.

List 10 things that bring you joy and tag *SIX* friends to do the same....
1) Finding a brand-new Asimov for $3
2) Strawberry shampoo (pretty sure I picked that up from 'Thaya)
3) Jeans that fit beautifully
4) My laptop. MINE! All mine!
5) Singing
6) A clear South Dakota night with sharp chills and glittering stars
7) miao
8) Mt. Readme (AKA having lots of books left to read)
9) Hair dye
10) Mountain Dew (but only the kind with caffeine)

I don't do the whole tagging thing, so tell you what: If you want to do this, you can tell folks I tagged you and I'll play along. Comprende? And if you don't want to, that's shibby too. Hurray!

It's probably time to worry. I feel accomplished because I managed to get a new kind of error in a pet project. This, I consider progress.

Yeah. Whatever.

I am deeply stressed over other crap, but I feel I have made progress in this tiny, isolated area, and that's something. Nothing remotely useful in day-to-day life, sure, but it's a modicum of control and ability. I just wish I could keep at it, but I've hit an impasse and will have to research a bit before I can do any more.

I can't find words to express my stress that don't make me sound utterly inadequate and idiotic. This does not help my mood in the slightest. I just really wish I could count on people, which is stupid because I'm the least reliable person I know and therefore have no call to be judging people. I'm just being whiny. Whiny because I was counting on someone to take two minutes out of their day to greatly assist me with a bit of classwork that is very difficult for me, and apparently I am not worth even two minutes -- gah. I suck, I suck, I suck.

I will know better than that later today, but right now I am viciously assaulting my psyche anyway, because that is what I know how to do when I have problems. There must be better ways but they are foreign to me.

I told y'all my words make me sound moronic, didn't I?

Nothing cheers a bleak day quite like swapping quotes from a Disney movie you want to see again, then turning on the TV to find it not five minutes into the first of a double showing. Yummy.

Have decided to spend remainder of day attempting to relax. I'm not accustomed to it, to say the least, but I think it's helping.

The previous post went through four or more edits before I deemed it sufficiently peppy. That would probably depress me even more if I dared look at said post again, but the commercial break will end soon and I'm determined to have a little joy today. So nyah, and also miao.

An overcast day.
Not so much clouds as solid grey
The sun hides from my eyes.

A small park, a swing,
Rain on the seat I upend.
The remnant damps my jeans

But I am gliding, strengthening,
Soaring powerfully over troubles.
Eyes closed, arms loose of the chains,
Breezes swirl around me.
They tell me wordless secrets of comfort.

Behind my eyes, the sky gleams azure.
Shackles cannot reach me
As each pass shucks them away.

Suddenly I'm on my feet, still flying,
The pendulum swing calming at my back.
The motion carries me home through my day
Imbues me with endurance
Leaves me sane.

Must buckle down. Gragh. Must get something done.

...please forgive me for I cannot compose
The fear that lives within me or the rate at which it grows
If struggle has a purpose on the narrow road you've carved
Why do I dread my trespasses
Will leave a deadly scar?

That's not mine, it's dc Talk. I post it because it resounds with me.

I may have added a Christian lyric to my sexpot vampire's webpage, just to screw with people. *snickers* The single line I used does suit her -- it's the entire remainder that doesn't fit at all.

Class. Right. *has brain seizures* Ugh.

There are too many Chrisses. It confuzzles me. This one is trying to drive me nuts. I've decided that much.

Package arrived today. Yay! He's been tempting me with successive volumes of Preacher, which I love madly. I even love the mistreatment of a cat in Vol. 2. That's how good this shit is. So I opened the box with glee in my heart and an idiotic grin on my face.

Dude skipped a volume. There's one between the last of what I have and where the new pair pick up.

Curse you, foul Cwissafuh!

Or maybe it's a simple mistake, but I'm bored and enjoying my head games theory.

If I'm going to dwell in the past, I may as well make it pretty.

I should go fill my brain with William the Conqueror and Cathars and such. They're been popping up in my blogroll and in roleplaying books, giving me the disturbing idea that my education may actually impact my day-to-day life. Only in passing, of course.

Had a wonderful night last night with friends, but it put off a talk I don't want to have but really, really should already. Huzzah. I hope to end that tonight and then, after a suitable round of kicking my own ass again, I might just even out a bit. That'd be nice.

Phone. Grr.

Sometimes I just have to dick with people.

I got a spam the other day purporting to be from Paypal. I could tell without opening it that it was probably bogus, but I was bored. I checked my security measures and opened it. Paypal logo and everything was legit; link to a domain with Russian extension was not.

It was about here that I got really evil. I clicked the link and filled out the forms with false data. I claimed that my Paypal password was "notthatdumb" and sprinkled profanity across the rest of the form... I am a bad person.

A vastly entertained bad person!

I went out to eat with my mom the other day. I morosely stared into space at one point, so she asked me what was wrong. I know better than to lie to my mother. I'm a horrible liar to begin with and mothers can instinctively tell anyway, or they can in my family.

"I was just thinking about some stuff online," I told her slowly. I explained to her some of my feelings on a specific group online, how I feel I don't have the time to devote to it that I really deserves.

She responded incredulously. "Yeah, but you do a bunch of things online."

I have the best mommy ever.

Yes, that's what's hemming me in. I'm trying to read general news and blogs and webcomics, and web standards news, and friends' art and stories, and then there's the vital online roleplay part of my daily digital diet. Something fun is going to have to go, and I dread to choose which.

On another note, I have to apologise to you folks. My "voice" is getting thoroughly borked and it's going to show through in everything I write for awhile. That foul Cwissafuh sent me Preacher: Vol. 3 to fill the gap in my collection, so I am 2/3 of the way through. Not Volume 3, Volume 4. In between volumes I saw a play set in 1700s England and began imitating the accents. This leaves my internal monologue somewhere between "What I'm gonna do?" and "Sir, I demahnd that you leave my exhalted presence!"

It's pure Bedlam, y'all.

There is something deeply wrong when I can count the number of entries on a single domain that I have not read, and that number is 145, and there are more domains with even more unread entries. Either I'm a poky puppy or all y'alls talk too damn much.

Don't mind me. I started poring over my blog backlog around 2 A.M. and now it is 5 A.M. I still have two untouched folders (combined total being the aforementioned 145) and all of Livejournal. I'm going to bed and hoping against hope that the lot of you whom I read decides against morning entries for just the one day. It's all good stuff, I've no doubt, but I'm getting queasy at the sheer bulk of it all.

Ree want pillow sleep please yes zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Project "Stay Awake To Avoid Nightmares" probably works a whole lot better when you aren't putting together a puzzle ball by touch to the climax of Hellraiser. Just guessing.

I had a thing I was going to say. I just forgot.

Oh yes! Xanga's been spiffing up their RSS feeds. I haven't checked for validity yes -- don't wanna get my hopes up -- but now the dates use days of the week instead of just numbers and slashes, and the feeds all have a modestly-sized Xanga logo for a feed image and stuff. Looks really nice. I approve! Most anything I read of Xanga, I read in Bloglines, so these changes are most beneficial to me.

Oh by the sweetness of Skittles, it's valid! Looks like they're all valid! I have to look at the XML source. Look at that. So yummy. Oh, and they used comments field so that Bloglines links directly to the comments section; I'll never have to scroll down again! (Except, you know, on all the non-Xanga pages and if I accidently hit the Home key and all that.) The RSS all looks in order, as it should be and not as a single person wishes it to be.

By comparison, Diaryland's RSS exerpts entries, breaking HTML (by omitting closing tags that occur after the end of the exerpt) and forcing a "(more)" link -- it offends semantic sensibilities. Diaryland also links to a comments section, even when that comments section doesn't actually exist and even 404s. Makes keeping tabs on Our Lady Marn most vexing. Not that I'm absolutely furious about bad RSS, excepting the sole fact that yeah, actually I am.

Troubles bourne and troubles sown,
Answers sought and nothing known.
Not a w(h)it has my life grown
Out of portions I have sewn.

If somebody out there has an idea how I can get perfect scores on every quiz in a unit but 87% on the test, speak up already. I'm getting peeved.