Ree’s musings

Today I reluctantly got partway caught up with my blog reading. Halfway through I wondered why I'd been putting it off, and was promptly reminded with ASCII laughter at my expense.

The internet tells me that because I am not underweight, I am ugly; if I attempt to lose weight, I am caving to vanity and societal demands. Because I use the word "ain't" — never in a formal paper; quelle horreur, but I do use it in casual speech — that marks me as an imbecile. I swear; that means I lack the vocabulary or intelligence to express myself by any other means.

To be prompt, my plumpness, prolixity, and profanity prohibit positive perception of my person, despite proclamations of my potential. Perhaps I panic from this pervasive pressure? Perish the perception! Do you pick up my point?

Probably not. I suppose persuading my provokers would purely pour my pleasant evening down the pisser (and there's that blue language for you), so I'll not continue to try. Pinheads.